Deep Blue
I feel losing whenever I thinking quietly alone.
It was Wednesday again; we had our HC course at the afternoon of this early spring day. My classmates all paid more attentions to this extra course; therefore most of them came to the classroom on time. I was a little bit late because of preparing the information of Body Program.
Body Program is a one-year program which connects a Chinese body and a foreign student as a pair, and holding many different kinds of activities every month. Thus, we can practice our English skills, showing the local culture and history of Macau to them, sharing our experiences together. Also, for most of those exchange students who have never visit Asia before, this program is quite helpful, because they can get many helps and daily information from us.
I was late today, thus our dear Professor started his teaching already when I pushed open the door. Those material papers that I was worked in were necessary for the meeting tomorrow, and I would not have enough time to finish it because today is my aunt’s birthday. We might use all the night to celebrate her 37-years-life. Maybe I can try to manage my schedule better next time, so that I could handle both my family and study as well as I can, I thought optimistically. However, things were changing after we walked around, took a hug, shaken hand, and shared the things we were most exciting and happy about to others.
I don’t know why, but it is true that every time in the class with our HC classmates and Professor Udani, I feel cry. I recognize that there is a wonderful English song that sings by a Japanese girl, calls “I cry”. I was studied in secondary school when first time I heard the song, but I still remember the lyrics now.
“So I cry.
But nobody hears me, I cry.
It’s my only solution, I cry.
To all this confusing, I cry.
With all of my heart, I cry…”
Last time, it was “Don’t Give Up”. And it is the song of Donald Duck this time.
Is it because of that melody?
Is it because of the story that performed by Donald Duck in the video?
Is that because of the book “A Christmas Carol” that I had read for almost three times?
Or, is that because of Charles John Huffam Dickens?
I love my classmates, they are all friendly person with nice personality. We had been studying together for almost half of a year, I know that they were always respected others and also respected the things they were doing.
I love my friends. None of us were born together, but we are always smiling to each other and feeling sad together.
I love my family, thankful for their giving.
I love myself, I think…
So I cry.
I feel that there is something moving strongly inside my body. I can’t describe the feeling, but I know that my emotion becomes turbulent and blue.
Deep blue, it is keep destroying my spirit.
I was out of control when we discussed the advices that came from others. I was sorry about that happened in front of my group members, and also, thank you and appreciate for all of your support and concern.
I will be alright, and I am going to find out the reason of my blue, I believe.