【咁大篇野...一定無人睇A_A...呵呵呵...得閒比我發洩下...係件好事黎...唔係咩重要野...望過下就算,right? (後加) 】
我估唔到原來重有人係關心我架=-="...
最近自閉左好多日~~
日日都無見人咁滯...
成個人都好似溫溫登登咁= =
見到人又唔識笑= ="...
都唔知自己做乜= =...
今日係休息室到~~呀希問左我一句【做乜咁耐無打日記架】
我先發覺...我再一次忘記左我係有日記版架啦= =...
唔知係咪耐無返學...連日記都小打左= ="...
同埋今日我發現...原來我真係有d問題...(我諗係掛...)
原來我真係無一班固定既朋友...
諗諗下..我係識好多人...但係有邊個真係知我心架...
好多以前既fd...就連影哂貼紙相攬頭攬頸既朋友...我依家連佢地名都唔記得...
你話死唔死...以前一班玩龍族...個個當哂知己...依家又係唔記得哂...
中學既同學...見到面最多只係say句hi~then say句走先啦byebye= =...就係咁多...
好似講多句都哂氣咁...唉...點解會咁...so fuck...
就連上年既同班同學...本來一班人高高興興...依家變左我好似孤獨一人咁...
見到面連say句hi都好似唔知點咁...唔知係我既問題定係佢地既問題呢= =...
睇黎我真係要係d方面學習下...我真係唔想好似依家咁...
成日都遇到d咁既問題...唔通我真係無朋友@@...有既~~
黎黎去去咪就係得個幾個囉...
由以前識既依家重keep重有連絡又或者我記得佢既得返...
天佑,亂既呀pat&泰神&獨戰,學唱歌既識既呀樂,中學時既兄弟天琪(不過佢次次出親黎都成日踩我= ="...衰到爆...不過有時候佢都幾好既~~起碼佢重會搵我T.T..感動),NEWAY既呀泰,樂園既B琪&泰仔,古義既恩恩,洛D既呀全&chris,同班既同學仔同埋依然有一齊玩既幾個朋友仔之外...都無乜架啦...重要係個個同我見到面都無乜野傾個隻...慘絕人環...
其實d個世界係咪所有人都係咁既姐...定係只有我係咁...
前幾日同我既親戚出去團年...見到個親戚既仔(我都唔知叫佢做乜好..總之佢叫我做舅父架啦..不過唔係細我好多= =..我都唔知點解..)..見到佢...真係識做到爆囉...個一刻,我真係係到諗...我有佢一半就好啦...佢做既野真係好自然,不做作~發自內心咁...但係又做得好全面...我都唔知點講好...總之我有佢一半我已經滿足啦...唔知係唔係我不足...我總係對自己無乜信心...
或者我中學個同學講得岩...【你真係太過依賴人地啦,自己比心機啦】...
其實係個一刻聽完我真係有反醒架...我已經盡量做足d做好d...
但係點都好似唔夠人地叻咁...唉...講真d真係有d自卑...
雖然我係就係比起以前變左好多...但係又點呀...靜係面對FD既時候..我都好似有d問題咁...見到呀richard咁...我其實覺得佢好似以前既我...好想去識新朋友...好想有個人可以依賴...可以做下朋友...但係唔知點解個個都避我...唔知點解個個都唔鐘意我...排斥我...就好似依家既richard咁...(雖然我未至於好似佢咁攪公司=_+..無奈...)但係佢都有九成似以前既我...唔識做人...溝通唔掂之餘重有幾分白痴重要扮哂有料咁...我何嘗唔係又曾經係咁...
以前既我重係見到女仔就驚見到女仔就避...怕醜唔講野...講野就得罪人...
不過已經過去左啦,面對好多既野已經有好多唔同既應對方法...不過終於都係唔夠...
就好似...點解有時人地講野雖然唔識但係都可以講到好投入...而我自己真係對住一D唔識而又無信心既野...真係無勇氣去講出黎...
所以有時我真係佩服b琪...點解佢乜野都可以講一餐~乜都可以咁投入講到自己好似好識咁...(雖然明眼人一睇...)我都有d想學到好似佢咁...(當然唔係全部啦...我都要有我自己既風格先得架麻...係咪先A_A)
其實...講左咁多...會唔會係我太過介意自己...
今日坐車個陣...表妹講左樣野令我覺得...點解成日好似唔係人地避我就我避人咁...
唔知點解好似返唔到轉頭咁...
係我既世界好古怪...我永遠係覺得...大家唔岩傾既約出黎做乜?大家無共同話題既傾黎做乜?唔知係咪就係d樣野令到我無乜固定既朋友...永遠都係要搵新鮮新人新朋友~咁先令到我有返d自信...唔知係咪以前我同人地傾電話傾得太...依家無哂興趣...我記得以前同一個icq既朋友...晚晚傾電話...重要係傾到零晨都唔想收線個隻...傾足成年半...到左依家...竟然連一個半個既電話都唔會打比佢又或者係佢打比我...真係好無奈...大家又唔係發生左d咩而令到大家無計傾...好多時都係無啦啦就大家唔搵大家...自自然然就無左個朋友咁...真係好古怪...諗返起以前好多野...真係好唔知點咁...
大家如果有心既就比d意見我..等我可以睇下可以點改...如果唔係我驚我d世都係咁...唔識面對朋友...