Things are keeping on like this

Tried my best to think of a suitable word to describe. At last Fly gave me a word

GREY

Such a good description

Sick of

Tired of

Get enough of


Reading my memory book again, found that people around used to think that I'm a girl who like to laugh, laugh so easily, can laugh for everything, showing welcome to everyone, always help the others with no doubt, and they admire my honesty so much.

I used to laugh alot at school because there are people I love and people who love me. I laugh so easily because I enjoy every moment that I was getting along with them. Everything was worth to joy with. I used to be so helpful because there is no one "using" me and I care them. I help them with my heart. I used to welcome all because all of them are lovely and kind. They like my honesty because they know how disgusting faking is.....


I don't know how to laugh anymore.

It's a difficult thing to me by now.

Nothing worth it.


So many people gave me lots of beautiful promises:
"I will always by your side"
"I support you"
"Call me whenever you want and I will be here for you"
"I care you"
"I love you"
"We are good soulmates"
"We are good sisters and companions"

But they only "sound good"......

People can keep in touch or keep the relationship because there is a sense of belonging, there is a kind of intimacy that they rely on each other. If I don't need you and you don't need me, then why should we get along with each others!?!

I need some people, but they don't know, or...they don't even bother it. And meanwhile, no one needs me.

I should learn to be much more independent or isolated.

I can rely on no one, except God.


願<<主啊求祢憐憫我>>這歌能化作我的禱聲.