I had an alumni dinner with a few old uni friends, oh how time flies!

I wanted to know is, why do I feel so delinquent when I'm with them to the point of having stammers in my speech? Why should I feel nervous and so self-conscious? When in fact I'm just as successful? What is it do I lack? Then I realised - perhaps I was nervous because I'm not quite as gragarious, or convivial, if you may, like them. I'm not socially awkward, definitely not, but I'm not as smooth either.

When I'm around people who are of the same 'level' as me in terms of achievement, I become aware of my less abled English speaking ability, and my less sense of humour. Worst still, I don't quite feel like myself all evening, trying to put on a show somewhat, with removed sincerity. Why?! I cry inside.

Need to improve now! My mannerisms, my ability to socially interact and feel rather at ease and with grace. Oh grace, is something I want to add to my posture. But then, becoming all that, would that make me me? And still likable?

Again the question, what is being myself, in the case that I'm not sure what good characteristics I possess, and only can see the flawed???

God, if you're truly powerful and able, help me see?