Oh my just went to the most raunchy party EVER! What have I been missing??!!

Key word: stripper!

It was my best friend's birthday party and apparently she organised a little 'surprise'. I was joking when I said 'sounded like something naughty' but boy was I on the money!!!! I have never seen a stripper before - ok naked man I've seen but male stripper?? They're a completely different breed! I have never, in my life, seen a man able to hide his testicle between his thighs! You could say 'wow long' but reality is 'wtf so saggy and soft?!'

The couple of guys I've been with were all Asians so this is the first time I've seen a European - he's of Portuguese origin, man THE SIZE DIFFERENCE!! I was shocked to find such a sturdy but short guy with quite a long tool, perhaps enhanced by the fact that he's waxed, and even more shocked to be informed that such a size is 'tiny' and 'like a pencil'. MY GOD MY FELLOW CAUCASIAN GIRLFRIENDS, you're having way more fun than our Asian counterparts.

I then met this beautiful, gorgeous Latino girl, I spoke and danced with her. My eyes were locked on her but it wasn't intense heat or firework going off, she's attractive but very young - only 19 years of age, and such a flirt. I learnt quite a bit of flirting techniques from her, it was amazing.

Best night in quite some time, I should definitely go out more haha.

Allison, no emails no calls no nothing from you, man you're cold. Guess what, it'd be too late when you do, bitch. Yeah I'm real mature, haha!