2009-08-08 16:40:35沐龍燭楓

Dance With My Father


  六日凌晨,天光微明,從窗戶透出颱風來臨前,灰索的光線,有氣無力地攀爬至我的枕邊。一夜不寐,於是戴上耳機,任由廣播斷續的波頻,在兩耳之間的腦際,嘈雜喧囂。

  突然,電台DJ(某位最近剛發片的男歌手),因了父親節即將到來的理由,而放了由Luther Vandross所演唱的Dance With My Father這首歌曲。演唱者低沉富含感情的嗓音,娓娓唱出,彷彿低語呢喃般,以歌聲傾訴一段心碎的故事。

  我想,我是愛我的父親的,儘管在許多時候連我自己都感到那麼一絲一毫的懷疑,太多的時候我總是迷惘,完完全全地否定與父親之間的感情,甚至將父子之間本已微弱的情感拉扯、傷害……

  但,我想,我依然是愛他的,至少在成長的歲月中,有太多次的期待,期待他對我的肯定與關注,太多次因為他的一個淡然的動作而感動。

  今天,是「父親節」,卻也是我最感孤寂蕭索的日子,因為我明白,愛一個自己最親的人,愛一個自己理應去愛的人,好難!然而,這卻是我最想去做的事。

 

 
◆Dance With My Father
By Luther Vandross
 

Back when I was a child,

before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high

and dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around 'til I fell asleep

Then up the stairs he would carry me

And I knew for sure I was loved

當我還是個孩子的時候

在歲月把所有的純真帶走以前

我的父親總喜歡把我舉得高高的

與我母親共舞、與我共舞

他會抱著我旋轉,直到我睡著為止

然後他會背著我上樓去

我很清楚我是被愛的

 

 

 

If I could get another chance,

another walk,

another dance with him

I'd play a song that would never, ever end

How I'd love, love, love

To dance with my father again

如果我還能有另一次機會、

與他一起散步、

與他共舞的話

我將放一首永遠永遠不會結束的歌曲

我多麼多麼想

再一次與我父親共舞啊

 

 

 

When I and my mother would disagree

To get my way, I would run from her to him

He'd make me laugh just to comfort me

Then finally make me do

just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep

He left a dollar under my sheet

Never dreamed that

he would be gone from me

每當我和母親起爭執的時候

為了如我所願,我總會跑到父親的身邊

他會安慰我、逗我開心

最後讓我心甘情願地

照我母親說的去做

當天晚上我睡覺的時候

他會放一塊錢在我的床單下

我從來沒有夢到過

有一天他會離我而去

 

 

 

If I could steal one final glance one final step

one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

如果還能看他最後一眼、他最後的脚步、

和他跳最後一次舞

我將放一首永遠永遠不會結束的歌曲

我多麼多麼想

再一次與我父親共舞啊

 

 

 

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door

And I'd hear how my mother cried for him

I pray for her even more than me

I pray for her even more than me

有時候我在母親的門外傾聽

我聽到她在為我父親哭泣

我為她祈禱更甚於為我自己

我為她祈禱更甚於為我自己

 

 

 

I know I'm praying for much too much

But could you send back the only man she loved

I know you don't do it usually

But dear Lord she's dying

To dance with my father again

我知道我祈求得太多太多

但您能不能把她今生唯一愛過的男人還給她?

我知道您通常不會這麼做

可是親愛的上帝

她是如此渴望與我父親再共舞一次啊

 

 

 

Every night I fall asleep

and this is all I ever dream

每晚入睡時,

我都是這麼夢想著