首先，請先連結以下網址：

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=6683

Apple Recalls iPhone; Forgot to Include ‘Phone’Feature

蘋果將全面召回 iphone, 只因忘了加進電話的功能！？

Jobs: Oops

In what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it had failed to include a “phone” feature in the much-hyped handheld device.

Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could have occurred.

“First and foremost, we’re sorry,” a red-faced Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. “When you make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone, and we messed that part up.”

Mr. Jobs suggested that Apple had been so focused on making the iPhone the “coolest handheld device ever” that it had forgotten to include one of the most important features of any cellular phone: “One thing people like about cell phones is that you can dial numbers into them and call people.”

Instead, he explained, Apple’s engineers had crammed the iPhone with a plethora of what he called “non-phonal features,” such as a camera, an MP3 player, a taser, and a tactical nuclear weapon.

While Mr. Jobs said that almost all of the nine million iPhones that had been shipped to stores were on their way back to Apple’s manufacturing plant, he offered advice to consumers who somehow had already obtained the phoneless iPhone: “Just hold it up to your head and pretend to be talking into it.”

Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans.

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（翻譯轉自 ptt abat 網友）

臉色通紅的約伯斯在與華爾街分析師召開的電話會議上說：

"首先，我們表示十分的歉意。 因為我們在iPhone這款產品中漏掉了電話功能。"
約伯斯稱，在設計這款有史以來最酷的設備過程中，蘋果也許是太過於謹小慎微了，以至於竟然漏掉了所有的電話都應該具備的最重要的功能。

他解釋說，蘋果的設計工程師們一直在琢磨那些與電話無關的功能，比如照相機、MP3播放器、跟蹤天線系統以及其他高級功能等。
雖然約伯斯表示首批已經運送到全球各地的零售店的九百萬台 iPhones 手機大部分已經"打道回府"，重新運回蘋果的生產廠，但是他還是建議那些通過某種方式已經拿到iPhone手機的消費者：

”拿起iPhone手機然後放在耳邊，假裝在打電話。”

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哈哈！大家有沒有嚇一跳呀 ^^（這是假新聞啦）

其實，Andy Borowitz 總是可以寫出很好笑的散文，我真希望自己和他一樣，可以寫出這麼有趣的文章。

不過，這個假新聞讓我聯想起：沒有好遊戲的 ps3, 以及沒有真實事件為基礎的電視新聞，都好像忘了加入電話功能的 iphone 一樣：無論 ps3 硬體功能有多強、新聞畫面的動畫有多漂亮，只要忘了自己的根本是什麼，都將只是一個笑話而已 = =

（話說，自從 wii 推出了那個笨蛋白痴遊戲 wii sports 後，我們牌友都不打麻將了．．．只要大家聚在一起，都只玩網球和保齡球而已 = =）

（又話說，如果你們家裡有 wii, 別忘了去看這個網站：

http://www.wiidamage.com

大家要小心玩 wii 唷^^）