2007-02-07 16:15:55愛的小蟾蜍
kvn
it actually feels weird.
kvn wang is actually saying something right and appropriate in the moment. my mind went blank for a sec, without feeling or thinking of anything. that didn’t happen too much recently.
he said he sincerely taking me as a friend, and try to help me thru the period. he even phoned jen to ask if i’m okay; he complained about me not picking his phone up; i just went blank.
very blank.
it’s a really weird feeling, kvn wang is actually saying something nice. but i don’t know y i’m so blank.
is he here while i needed him the most? is anyone who "claimed" as my friend did anything except moking when i needed them the most?
no-one.
even the ppl i called as "best friends", there’s regards; wut are the regards going to do to me? my anxiety and depression towards life, where’s that good friend? wut is that good friend doing?
that’s how we ended up on the street @ the foggy night like last night, yelling around the campus and hoping we can get some bio-chem ppl to fail their exams next morning or so. we laughed like crazy, as if we don’t have any worries; as if there’s nothing to be cared.
unfortunatly, in reality there is too much that we have to take care of. schools, marks, jobs, friends, relationships, everything.
"i don’t see y u even care." i typed in a blank mood.
"i don’t know!! just b/c I KNOWWW U??" he said, as if he’s pulling his hair off his head, " or it’s probably cuz i’m nuts... yeh, it g2 be the 2nd 1." he said.
i can’t tell exactly whether he’s joking or not; but if he’s serious, i’m really into trouble.
i feel some chemical’s rising up in the air.
i know we are not much as friends, cuz we talked to each other not exceeding 7 time. i don’t get to see him around that often, and we don’t msg around and phone around that often like me and roy do, and i don’t see where his "friends sense" are coming from.
maybe it’s just some stupid guyz pride i don’t even know of.
but the thought scared me.. his name and the thing he did, the things he said, occupied my mind like crazy. it’s not the loving feeling i know, but that messy thing deep down in my mind could have lots of potentials.
"just to keep in mind that ur much better looking than KC is, and she’s doing just fine, i don’t see y ur so depressed about."
wut he didn’t really realize is that, love is not about all that simple comparisons that he making out of.
how can a guy who has nvr fallen in love since gr 3 ever possible of making his way to comfort me and actually did the right thing??
i’m not asking for more, but blank
just blankness will just do me fine, for now.
kvn wang is actually saying something right and appropriate in the moment. my mind went blank for a sec, without feeling or thinking of anything. that didn’t happen too much recently.
he said he sincerely taking me as a friend, and try to help me thru the period. he even phoned jen to ask if i’m okay; he complained about me not picking his phone up; i just went blank.
very blank.
it’s a really weird feeling, kvn wang is actually saying something nice. but i don’t know y i’m so blank.
is he here while i needed him the most? is anyone who "claimed" as my friend did anything except moking when i needed them the most?
no-one.
even the ppl i called as "best friends", there’s regards; wut are the regards going to do to me? my anxiety and depression towards life, where’s that good friend? wut is that good friend doing?
that’s how we ended up on the street @ the foggy night like last night, yelling around the campus and hoping we can get some bio-chem ppl to fail their exams next morning or so. we laughed like crazy, as if we don’t have any worries; as if there’s nothing to be cared.
unfortunatly, in reality there is too much that we have to take care of. schools, marks, jobs, friends, relationships, everything.
"i don’t see y u even care." i typed in a blank mood.
"i don’t know!! just b/c I KNOWWW U??" he said, as if he’s pulling his hair off his head, " or it’s probably cuz i’m nuts... yeh, it g2 be the 2nd 1." he said.
i can’t tell exactly whether he’s joking or not; but if he’s serious, i’m really into trouble.
i feel some chemical’s rising up in the air.
i know we are not much as friends, cuz we talked to each other not exceeding 7 time. i don’t get to see him around that often, and we don’t msg around and phone around that often like me and roy do, and i don’t see where his "friends sense" are coming from.
maybe it’s just some stupid guyz pride i don’t even know of.
but the thought scared me.. his name and the thing he did, the things he said, occupied my mind like crazy. it’s not the loving feeling i know, but that messy thing deep down in my mind could have lots of potentials.
"just to keep in mind that ur much better looking than KC is, and she’s doing just fine, i don’t see y ur so depressed about."
wut he didn’t really realize is that, love is not about all that simple comparisons that he making out of.
how can a guy who has nvr fallen in love since gr 3 ever possible of making his way to comfort me and actually did the right thing??
i’m not asking for more, but blank
just blankness will just do me fine, for now.