每次一緊張
就會想吐

在訂機票的那一刻
我
肚子翻滾
胃絞痛

差點把剛吃的Tuna Bagel
全吐了出來

我...入戲很深
假裝平靜的訂票
卻在travel agent
confirmed日期的時候
整個人紅了眼眶

可以給我window seat嗎
不想給人看到我的紅眼眶

可以給我sleeping pill嗎
這樣我可以一路睡21 hours

可以給我勇氣
讓我平靜的離開嗎



________________________________________________
如果everything happens for a reason
那麼我8月1號的walked away
應該是我8月2號面試通知的前奏曲
讓我有足夠的衝動與勇氣
決定
就這樣
離開紐約
的一切

what if I dont get the job
which is quite possible..
but what if I dont even give it a shot
I think I will hate myself
there is nothing here in ny
that worth me staying
N has never been mine
and will never be
staying here for someone who doesnt love me will be the dumbest move
NY experience?
the only reason of NY experience is to get an interview with the company like that
if i can get it now, whats the point of keep staying here.

if i end up not getting the job..well...i guess im just... meant to leave