Dearest Alice,

I've really enjoyed reading your e-mail too, and I too carefully read and analyze everything you say, being more experienced with life than I. I really feel we are sharing similar experiences, as love is something no one can explain what it is, when it will happen, and why it happens. What we do know is there is a great deal of pain associated with losing the 'true love.'

Your right about "love at first sight," I don't believe such a notion is realistic. At first the basis of attraction is based on the physical aspect, and is thus merely infatuation, or lust, whatever one wishes to call it. And yes, a lot of the time, people do get confused between love and infatuation. As for placing blame regarding the end of the relationship, I can say that Priya has been a bitch in many regards. Yes, a BITCH. And I am not just saying that cause I feel anger, but she has really acted inappropriately in many regards, and especially in the
way she has acted towards me, more so because she claims she still cares about me.

Furthermore, she lied to me so long, knowing I had given up opprtunties for her and still waited till I got back to Hong Kong, because she was too much of a coward to confront the truth with me. And you are perfectly in the right to call him a Jerk if you feel that the way he has acted, or the reasons why he broke up with you are not valid. Saying this does not mean we did not love, or care for them. Bottom line is, when a person does
something wrong, or acts incorrectly we can brand them
as "wrong-doers," a "bitch," an "asshole" etc, as the
simplicity is betwen right and wrong. This does not mean we did'nt or still don't love an individual. I feel Priya did wrong in many aspects, and I hope that the karma will haunt her for the rest of her life. This is not because I don't love her, or did'nt love her, but because I believe people deserve what they
have done to others. None of us did anything wrong, although it is still easy to blame ourselves- it is all too easy.

As for karma, I do believe this is has something to do with my previous life/lives. This is an issue of karma, and that is why I am afraid sometimes that I am
destined for this kind of karma. I think you are right about my karma. As for being skeptical, there is nothing wrong with that. I for one will use that trait from now onwards to protect myself. I never once thought there was any possibility of anything going wrong in what I had with Priya. Never did I think it would end. The only thing I feared was death of myself or of Priya. Perhaps if I was more skeptical I would have been more prepared, as I would have understood and thus been mentally
prepared for the event of a break up. As for you not being confident about youself, you're just being silly. You must know you are attractive, because if you did'nt then you would never have attractive guys wanting to go out with, or who have gone out with you in the past. I felt the same way, when I first returned to HK, but I thank all the women
who I have come across who have helped me regain my confidence, possibly to greater levels than even before! I will tell you a story of my weekend (saturday night) little bit further on. You know you're attractive, so get out of thinking otherwise!

And as for hope being your driving force in life, then
you should make use of it. Hope should give you enough drive to at least push yourself, and if you pushing yourself, even if it is a little bit at a time, then
you are moving on inevitably. Hope is good, and there is nothing wrong in using it as a catalyst to drive yourself, so keep it up. As for things happening for a reason, I can't really answer that. I hear person after person telling me that. If Priya had'nt told me now, then perhaps she might have given me the bad news at a later point in time, after marriage, or possibly after having children. Perhaps it is best she told me now. On a more amusing note, I have found msyself (don't ask me why) gravitating towards well endowed women (voluptous, if you know waht I mean)! Priya was a little bit on the smaller side, so perhaps in the future I would have got bored, and found my arousal level decreasing with her? So far every woman I have
gone for here are well packaged. I'm sorry, its hard for me to write about this without the expense of sounding a little perverse lol! So although things
seem bad, maybe, just maybe there is a reason in this universe for everything occuring the way it does. But then again, who can really answer all this?

So please Alice, move on, be confident, go out more
and try to enjoy yourself (trust me it REALLY works). I guarantee that you desserve better and you will find the right person one day. It might not happen tomorrow, it might not happen a year for now, but it will happen. Take things slowly though, don;t get drawn in too quickly and set yourself up for a potential fall. Play things as they happen and see
where they take you, and everything will work out for
you. Right now, forget it, and think that you can do better. That's what I do, and I am honestly beginnging to think "oh well, this is Priya's loss," and that is the attitude which will put you back on top. Honestly, when I go out on weekends I have such a blast, have so much fun with women I meet, that I realize a) the single life is fun and b) I am attractive to women. So now onto my story.

Well all in all, every weekend I let myself move on. And stuff like this makes me realize that I am young, can have fun, and there are So many beautiful women in
this world who have, and will continue to help boost my confidence. Hopefully I won;t get too big-headed hey? For a long time, I would't even try to let myself move on, but that was because I was'nt letting myself
do so. But each weekend which goes by, I feel better about myself, think about the life I have in front of me, the years of fun. It is too short to waste, let
opportunities slide. We are still fortunate. We have our five sense, we are stable in the mind, we are not impovrished, living in perpetual famine, like many
people who are suffering in many third world countries. People like you and me are educated, we
have family and friends, and we are not financially
destitute. We have a window to the world, a window of opportunities. They are there for seizing. I could have chose not to talk to this girl, but then I would have gone home regretting such a choice, considering I
see her all the time.

I know your living life, and I care about you too, so
go out there, do things you like, let guys hit on you (there is nothing wrong with that). Then, and only then, will you see the value of preserving yourself,
and driving yourself to the top. I know you said going out does'nt help you, but that's only because you are thinking negative. Give it a shot, open up for one weekend, and I assure you things will get better a lot quicker. By the way, I know a guy from Australia who also moved here because of his ex recently. They were together four years too, but I see him in Lan Kwai Fong every weekend, having fun and living it up. I'm sure he feels upset too, but fact is, he is going out there to live his life. So for my sake, just try what I'm suggesting. Be open to the idea of boosting your confidence by converating with guys etc-- just try please? :)

Peace