Good projections and sharp perspectives. I had bad depression during 2001~2002, part of the reason was that i didn't like or use to share any of my feelings and thoughts with anybody including Amy, my ex roommate. And new environment clashed with my traditional lifestyle yet i always refused to seek out. I never told things to anybody. Then blindly dated some guys..(like two of them, one was Jacky) just helped to push my self-esteem to the bottom while I was already a very self-conscious person.

I see where Seth is going thru right now, and I feel bad for him as a friend. I wish i could help him more, as a friend. I can say this out loud that I'm never emotionally involved with him (i told you already), not only we just don't click intellectually, but also other things. Going thru a lot of shitty things in the past helps me figure things out more easily and quickly and sometimes people i like and hang serve like reflections of myself.

I'm always appreciated to be lucky enuf to have good friends around me, you, Jennifer, Victor, and so on. Being around with normal and mentally healthy pple helps, esp. those jolly ones. Last year my mood swing was still bad, even though i partied a lot, but it's all the butterfly image i had outside of my soul, depression hit me regularly, often once every 3 weeks and i cudn't do anything about it. This year I've been much better becuz I started to figure out how to deal with it. I can always see the signs when it's coming and yet hopeless, now I'll try to do things to distract me from feeling down....though most of the time it doens't help much......

I guess people call this bipolar disorder? or chemical imbalance??? not sure, but i'm glad I'm getting over it over a course of time!

----- Original Message -----
From: Tenny Susanto
To: Alice Chen
Sent: Monday, December 13, 2004 5:01 PM
Subject: RE: hey


I guess I don't know you enough to know you have depression/self esteem problems. Hmm...Seth is worse than you I guess.

You need to be around cheerful and positive people more, not people who dwell on their own problems so much that they create even more problems for themselves. Be there for Seth, but don't let him influence you and become your old self again. He's better off talking to a psychiatrist than you I think.

My old roommate was like that once..She's an american girl..She was very needy. Always needed to be around people, needed lots of attention. So that's why she's always seeing guys.sometimes a few at a time. And she had an on and off boyfriend during the whole time. She even hid a guy in my room once when her boyfriend came to our house to check on her. She'd cry and feel all depressed sometimes. I think that's why all her relationships are so unstable. She doesn't really love any of them, she just wants them to care for her.

Hope my prediction is wrong. Not that you are involved with Seth right now, but I think being involved in a relationship with an unstable and emotionally depressed person will most often turn out ugly.