2004-12-14 08:31:07Bombshell
Progressive Mood Swings......
Alice:
Hey. I am not sure what is going on with me. I really don't. For the last couple of months, I am just having a very difficult time personally. I have never had so many weird mood swings ever, and I might try and get some help. I just feel depressed. I don't know why, and it has nothing to do with you. I had a pretty tragic incident happen in my family about a year ago, and I have not shared that with you. Some of that stuff, on top of my job stresses, for some reason it has just hit me hard. I keep thinking I'll be fine, but I think I need to get some help to see what is going on with me. I just don't feel good about myself right now. I don't even know why, and I just don't feel like ever talking with anybody about it. I have no idea what to do. I just feel down almost 90% of the time, and since I have never experienced this before, I am not sure how to handle it. I think I need to seek some help from counselor or something. I feel like I am drowning over here, and I can't keep my head above water. Needless to say, this is not your problem....it's mine. I am just not sure how to fix this, because it is deeply affecting me bother personally and professionally.
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Reply
Dear Seth:
I feel a little sad after reading your email, I'm really sorry to learn what you are going thru right now becuz I do care a lot about you, and I've been where you at right now. I think you are a good person, and I want to write you something as a token to share...but well...read it or not it's up to you.
I suffered very bad depression about two years ago when i was first going to school here, I just locked myself at home everyday talking to nobody and just feeling depressed, my mood was constantly in the gutter, and it only got worse and worse. I had no self-esteem and was very insecure and feeling bad about myself. I didn't know what to do so i went to see a school counselor, but i knew my mind was totally shut to accept any help even though they were just everywhere, I chose to be alone. It was like that (there's no tomorrow) for over a year....and then I moved to the bay area and started working, still having frequent mood swings but since I started having friends and people around me all the time to distract me from that, I was starting to see improvement. I didn't use to pick up every single calls when my friends tried to reach me, so they ended up coming to my house just to drag me out cuz they knew it wasn't healthy to be home alone and bang my head to the wall. I started opening my heart and looking at things from different perspectives, cares from friends helped me a lot to feel much better about myself today and I always want to try to be a better person by learning things from different people.
A host family I met thru school was Mormon and I started going to church with them. I was a restless type back then, i was always either super hyper or super depressed, but going to Mormon church actually helped somehow, no one there to solicit me to get baptized, or tell me what i should do. Instead they listen and quietly offer to help. It helped me a lot to slow down and found inner peace. I started appreciating a lot of things in life dat I didn't see w/my eyes before, and started accepting who I was.
just a side note, I remember getting very bad grades and two academic warnings (examples of severe mood swing affecting me both personally and professionally) ...and almost got deported once!!!
sigh...can't bear to look what happened back then.
I don't know what happened to you a year ago, and you don't have to tell me, but i want you to keep in mind, that if you ever feel like talking to me or emailing me, please do I'm always here for you:-)
I think living in Chicago is depressing to begin with (according to Erin), hazy all the time. Perhaps going to church or voluntary activities will uplift your spirit a little. Try to slow down a little, you did very well the last day I was in Chicago, I noticed you finally slowed down and enjoyed yourself and my company. Oh and don't abuse alcohol to release your stress.
Money is important and everything to a lot of people, but I think you are doing well to begin with, don't give yourself too much pressure, just do your best and accept the possible setback.
kiss and hug
love
alice
Hey. I am not sure what is going on with me. I really don't. For the last couple of months, I am just having a very difficult time personally. I have never had so many weird mood swings ever, and I might try and get some help. I just feel depressed. I don't know why, and it has nothing to do with you. I had a pretty tragic incident happen in my family about a year ago, and I have not shared that with you. Some of that stuff, on top of my job stresses, for some reason it has just hit me hard. I keep thinking I'll be fine, but I think I need to get some help to see what is going on with me. I just don't feel good about myself right now. I don't even know why, and I just don't feel like ever talking with anybody about it. I have no idea what to do. I just feel down almost 90% of the time, and since I have never experienced this before, I am not sure how to handle it. I think I need to seek some help from counselor or something. I feel like I am drowning over here, and I can't keep my head above water. Needless to say, this is not your problem....it's mine. I am just not sure how to fix this, because it is deeply affecting me bother personally and professionally.
====================================
Reply
Dear Seth:
I feel a little sad after reading your email, I'm really sorry to learn what you are going thru right now becuz I do care a lot about you, and I've been where you at right now. I think you are a good person, and I want to write you something as a token to share...but well...read it or not it's up to you.
I suffered very bad depression about two years ago when i was first going to school here, I just locked myself at home everyday talking to nobody and just feeling depressed, my mood was constantly in the gutter, and it only got worse and worse. I had no self-esteem and was very insecure and feeling bad about myself. I didn't know what to do so i went to see a school counselor, but i knew my mind was totally shut to accept any help even though they were just everywhere, I chose to be alone. It was like that (there's no tomorrow) for over a year....and then I moved to the bay area and started working, still having frequent mood swings but since I started having friends and people around me all the time to distract me from that, I was starting to see improvement. I didn't use to pick up every single calls when my friends tried to reach me, so they ended up coming to my house just to drag me out cuz they knew it wasn't healthy to be home alone and bang my head to the wall. I started opening my heart and looking at things from different perspectives, cares from friends helped me a lot to feel much better about myself today and I always want to try to be a better person by learning things from different people.
A host family I met thru school was Mormon and I started going to church with them. I was a restless type back then, i was always either super hyper or super depressed, but going to Mormon church actually helped somehow, no one there to solicit me to get baptized, or tell me what i should do. Instead they listen and quietly offer to help. It helped me a lot to slow down and found inner peace. I started appreciating a lot of things in life dat I didn't see w/my eyes before, and started accepting who I was.
just a side note, I remember getting very bad grades and two academic warnings (examples of severe mood swing affecting me both personally and professionally) ...and almost got deported once!!!
sigh...can't bear to look what happened back then.
I don't know what happened to you a year ago, and you don't have to tell me, but i want you to keep in mind, that if you ever feel like talking to me or emailing me, please do I'm always here for you:-)
I think living in Chicago is depressing to begin with (according to Erin), hazy all the time. Perhaps going to church or voluntary activities will uplift your spirit a little. Try to slow down a little, you did very well the last day I was in Chicago, I noticed you finally slowed down and enjoyed yourself and my company. Oh and don't abuse alcohol to release your stress.
Money is important and everything to a lot of people, but I think you are doing well to begin with, don't give yourself too much pressure, just do your best and accept the possible setback.
kiss and hug
love
alice