There’s one thing you have to know. Every time when I cut myself, seeing the bleeding hand, you might ask how foolish I am! No doubt, melancholy is a condition that makes people depressed and discouraged. But I must admit it’s not completely influenced by the disease, several events have occurred to me, inclusive of original family problems together with poor friendship. For instance, all classmates had to be divided into several groups to proceed science experiments, but much to my sorrow, none of them would like to be a team with me. What was worse, the teacher rather than aided me but laughed at me in the public. The only thing I could do is laugh with everyone reluctantly, sitting at the corner and watching them accomplish the experiments, as though I were a phantom in the class. What a bad and typical memory I underwent.

Want to call me a freak? Definitely right! Most of my classmates think of me as an awkward person, not preferring to make friends with me, which brings about social phobia some day. Whenever I would like to change my personality, despite others peculiar thoughts, they were not in favor of me, instead, they kept teasing me all the time simply on account of my indecisive personality. From then on, silence is the method to act with people.

The doctor indicated to have a hospitalization for me with a view to preventing me from suicide. Owing to past experiences, not only impulsive behavior but drug abuse are symptoms of mine, and self-injury is what counted in. Furthermore, the psychologist suggested to have a group therapy with patients who have similar situations. Occasionally, strong feelings of anger, anxiety and depression appear while proceeding this therapy. This is the reason why I didn’t maintain the therapy.

You might probably want to ask the diagnosis of me. Actually, it is borderline personality disorder that gives rise to melancholy. What is borderline personality disorder(BPD)? It can be obviously explained as though a glass of water was put at the border of a table, it might drop down and being debris; nonetheless, it might stand still and nothing occurred. Broadly speaking, BPD, for one thing, can cause sever symptoms, including suicidal actions and threats. But at times people with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger.

Do you realize how painful I am now? No sympathy please! Never regard the suicidal actions as a call attention behavior.
If you are fond of my articles and my life philosophy, you are allowed to read the followings in the future.