Feeling dullness from my chest, this time, instead of palpitation. Got palpitation last week and went to a Chinese doctor. After taking medicine, I got relieved somewhat.

This week, I ran a shift on Sunday. Walking towards hospital on the street this morning, the sun shined and wind breezed. I felt surrounded by warmth and hoped I could stayed outside, enjoying the warmth from the sky.

A senior gave me some advices before she took leave just now, saying something like something losed and something gained. I think this made my chest tightness worse......

So sophisicated......

I hated myself being cold. When I examed a child just now, I felt the like to him from the bottom of my heart... I love the kids. They are so pure and I feel like to protect them and tease them, making them laugh, still. But since when I became irritated by phone calls and denied everything? I only whished the time could come back again and allow me once more, just once, that I could fight for my favorite thing. And then, no regret...

I just brought about an assumption, maybe it's my attitude towards this job was too serious. I felt cut by work and became a cool robot during work. No jokes, no chats, no smiles. The smile on my face was mostly social. Maybe it's not so serious or I could make it lighter, easier. Not blaming on someone else.

Maybe I could still keep my personal space between the slits of work. Maybe I don't have to give up too much.

I felt fragile at such moment.