first of all ~
"happy b-day to Dee Dee" ~
and HAPPY B-DAY TO ANDRIY'S MOM!
(tom*)
umm ~ i dunno what's wrong with me and andriy today ~
our relationship seems so so so so bad ~~~
he's saying all kinds of shit to me ~ same as always la ~ the "cheap" stuff ~
sigh ~~~ i dunno why he's like this ~ as if he love THAT ~ more than me ~ he always say i'm selfish ~ how about him??
everything is about HIM!!
HIM HIM HIM!
he thinks he's my MASTER!!
well... fuck! no!!!!
he keeps on saying that i only care about myself ~ when i screamed at him ~ but guess what!?
it's not all that i'm the only one selfish !!!!!!!!! if HE didn't say all those things to me ~ I would of have to felt that way ~ he's always like this!!!
he break my heart into pieces ~ and try to piece it back together by alittle bit of comfort ~ and say a little meaningless apology!
like.... what the hell?
dun say sorry if u dun fucking mean it!!!!!!!!!!
b-coz ~ he just keep doing the same god-damn thing all the fucking time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
saying all those fucking stuff ~ while he knows it's not fucking true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
fuck! he's just trying to blame sth on me ~ when he has a bad mood ~ well.... too bad!!!!
b-coz my heart is broken by him too many times to know what the hell i'm feeling now!!!!!!!!!!!!~
when he needs me ~ he treat me like a treasure ~ but when he doesn't need me ~ he treat me like dirt!!!!!!!!!!!~ like someone he absolute hates!
saying i'm "chou" and "fan" ~ even though i was saying nth ~ or i was just caring for him!!!

every fucking time!!!!!!!!!!!
i open up my recovered little weak heart ~ he just breaks it again!!!!!!!

hey... . maybe i'm being selfish and not thinking about his feelings ~ but........
i really dunno what to say ~
cuz he doesn't care for my feeling either ~!!!!!
shit!

i hate it when.......

- he says i'm FAN or CHOU for nth
- he says the CHEAP sth
- he doesn't believe the true me
- he says i'm selfish
- he thinks he's the best in the world
- he say i use him
- he just make fake comforts and fake apologies that mean nth!!!
- he keep saying sth about my body
- he is sexist and racist and prejudice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


most of all ~ i hate it when he tries to put my heart back together ~ but at the same time ~ still hurting me ~ and at the same time ~ saying fake promises ~
and useless apologies!

umm ~ tonight his mom called ~
yelling at him cuz he forgot her b-day ~ i really feel he's such a bad person ~
he blamed me for not being able to remember ppl's b-days!!!!!
but... it's not my problem!!
b-coz she's his mother! not mine!
and if he really truly care about her ~ he would remember naturally la!