男人還有一張嘴

很有趣的英文小品....英文也不算艱深難懂,有空試試不看中文讀讀看~~很有意思的!!
比爾和山姆 (Bill & Sam)    [幽默小品]

 
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
兩位老友比爾和山姆，每天在公園碰會餵鴿子，觀賞松鼠和討論世界問題。
 
One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
有一天，比爾沒有出現。山姆沒想太多，認為他可能得了感冒或許有其他的事情。但是過了一個星期還是沒見到比爾，山姆真的擔心起來了。
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
可是由於他們都是在公園相會，山姆不清楚比爾住在那裡，所以無法知道他究竟發生了什麼事情。
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there
sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
山姆估算他最後見到比爾到現在已經一個月了。有天，山姆走近公園，你瞧！比爾不就坐在那裡嗎！山姆看到比爾告訴他感到非常激動和高興。
Then he said, 'For crying out loud, Bill, what the heck happened to you?'
然後他問「噢，比爾，你到底發生了什麼事情？」
Bill replied, 'I've been in jail.'
比爾回答說「我被關進了監獄裡。」
'Jail?' cried Sam. ' What in the world for?'
「監獄？」山姆叫道。「這是什麼世界呀？」
'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blond waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'
「噢，」比爾說「你知道蘇，就是我常去咖啡館的那個可愛金髮碧眼的女服務生嗎？」
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
「知道啊！」山姆說「我記得她。怎樣了？」
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me! At 87 years old, I was so proud when I got into court..... I PLED .....“GUILTY”.
「喔！有一天她對我提出強姦控告！我87歲，非常驕傲地走進法庭.....我承認了….我有罪.....。」
The Judge gave me 30 days............ 
法官判了我拘禁30天............
FOR PERJURY! 
罪名是作偽證！

資料來源：周守信