2012-05-22 16:28:11lutin

斷背山文字片斷....






"斷背山上那年遙遠的夏天,其中一段令傑克回憶、渴望起來既難以壓抑也無 法理解。當時恩尼司朝他身後靠近,抱住他,以沈默的擁抱滿足了某種共用 而無關性愛的饑渴。 

兩人如此在營火前站立良久,火焰出微紅光塊,兩具肉體的陰影結合一 根緊靠岩石矗立的梁柱。時間一分分流逝,由恩尼司口袋裏的圓表滴答告知 ,由逐漸燃燒成炭的樹枝點明。星光在營火上方層層熱流中破浪前進。恩尼 司的呼吸緩和寂靜,悄聲囈語,在點點火星中前後微微擺動,傑克則毗倚平 穩的心跳上,低哼震動恰似微弱電流,令傑克以站姿入睡,而此睡非彼睡, 而是昏沈失神之感。最後恩尼司挖掘出童年母親在世時對他說的一段話,盡管生銹了,仍派得上用場。他說,「該上床了,牛仔。我該走了。好了,別 學馬兒站著睡啦,」說著搖搖傑克,推他一下,自己步入黑暗中。傑克聽見 他上馬時馬刺顫動聲,聽到「明天見」,以及馬兒顫抖的鼻息,馬蹄磨石的 聲響。 

那次睡意沈重的擁抱,後來在傑克記憶中凝結固化,成了兩人分隔兩地、刻 苦難捱生活中唯一毫無造作、迷醉入魔、至福充盈的時刻。這段往事百毒不 侵,甚至知道了以下這件事也難以動搖:恩尼司當時不願面對面擁抱他,是 不想看到或感覺到擁抱的物件是傑克。也許吧,他心想,他們從未發展出更 進一步的關係。順其自然,順其自然吧 "




~<Brokeback Mountain>~

"What Jack remembered and craved in a way he could neither help nor understand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis had come up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying some shared and sexless hunger. 

They had stood that way for a long time in front of the fire, its burning tossing ruddy chunks of light, the shadow of theirbodies a single column against the rock. 

The minutes ticked by from the round watch in Ennis’s pocket, from the sticks in the fire settling into coals. Stars bit through the wavy heat layers above the fire.

Ennis’s breath came slow and quiet, he hummed, rocked a little in the sparklight and Jack leaned against the steady heartbeat, the vibrations of the humming like faint electricity and, standing, he fell into sleep that was not sleep but something else drowsy and tranced until Ennis, dredging up a rusty but still useable phrase from the childhood time before his mother died, said, “Time to hit the hay, cowboy. I got a go. Come on, you’re sleepin on your feet like a horse,” and gave Jack a shake, a push, and went off in the darkness. 

Jack heard his spurs tremble as he mounted, the words “see you tomorrow,” and the horse’s shuddering snort, grind of hoof on stone. 

Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see nor feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they’d never got much farther than that. Let be, let be."