2004-06-15 03:31:50伍主播
14.06.04
14th June, 2004 Monday
I have been to 3 students’ home today. Being a busy tutor is tiring, just like what I am now.
Facing students all through the day is very stressful and boring, especially when you have to talk about more or less the same things in front of different students. You bore them and at the same time bore yourself.
I want to share a recent experience with you that I encountered days before. It was after I had waved goodbye to Fai on the day we visited Stanley. It was near 12:00 at night. I feel really frightened deep inside my heart when I was on the MTR alone. You know? I seldom go home that late at night only on my own. I felt a bit lost among the many people in a compartment of the train. I don’t know why till now. I was thinking if I could get home by the last train at night and if not, what I should do. It was an odd feeling. I wanted to return to Tsim Sha Tsui station again and simply took a bus to go home. There was a moment that I was in confusion. But I doubted also if it is feasible to take the bus. It is strange, right?
Siu Nga asked me about my arguments towards this topic: “Women are more troublesome than men as women are generally with more weaknesses.”
I am against this statement because of the following points:
First of all, it is hard to define which weaknesses are more troublesome and more disgusting. They are subjective and they depend on different people’s points of view. When you engage in a conversation or in a relationship, being too talkative or active is just as disgusting as being a silent or passive speaker from my point of view. In some cases, being silent is even more disgusting than being talkative and aggressive.
Secondly, you only took women in general, you should also consider there must be some exceptions. One good example of exceptions is you, yourself. You are not like a bitch as other women/men.
Thirdly, I just don’t see I have more imperfections or shortcomings as men do. We may simply have different shortcomings and some of them are commonly found in women and others in men.
I think you have just simplified the truth or perhaps it is only true in the situation you mentioned in your diary.
They are simply my points. Let’s not take it seriously.
I have kept listening to 2 songs repeatedly these few days. I do feel they tell what is in my mind. I really want to tell you that I am not as happy as my performance is showing recently. I am sort of hiding myself and controlling my emotion hardly as well. I am becoming indifferent towards my relationship with Fai and I don’t know what I should do to help. I feel really bad at night. Our relationship seems good, but I don’t think it is.
I have been to 3 students’ home today. Being a busy tutor is tiring, just like what I am now.
Facing students all through the day is very stressful and boring, especially when you have to talk about more or less the same things in front of different students. You bore them and at the same time bore yourself.
I want to share a recent experience with you that I encountered days before. It was after I had waved goodbye to Fai on the day we visited Stanley. It was near 12:00 at night. I feel really frightened deep inside my heart when I was on the MTR alone. You know? I seldom go home that late at night only on my own. I felt a bit lost among the many people in a compartment of the train. I don’t know why till now. I was thinking if I could get home by the last train at night and if not, what I should do. It was an odd feeling. I wanted to return to Tsim Sha Tsui station again and simply took a bus to go home. There was a moment that I was in confusion. But I doubted also if it is feasible to take the bus. It is strange, right?
Siu Nga asked me about my arguments towards this topic: “Women are more troublesome than men as women are generally with more weaknesses.”
I am against this statement because of the following points:
First of all, it is hard to define which weaknesses are more troublesome and more disgusting. They are subjective and they depend on different people’s points of view. When you engage in a conversation or in a relationship, being too talkative or active is just as disgusting as being a silent or passive speaker from my point of view. In some cases, being silent is even more disgusting than being talkative and aggressive.
Secondly, you only took women in general, you should also consider there must be some exceptions. One good example of exceptions is you, yourself. You are not like a bitch as other women/men.
Thirdly, I just don’t see I have more imperfections or shortcomings as men do. We may simply have different shortcomings and some of them are commonly found in women and others in men.
I think you have just simplified the truth or perhaps it is only true in the situation you mentioned in your diary.
They are simply my points. Let’s not take it seriously.
I have kept listening to 2 songs repeatedly these few days. I do feel they tell what is in my mind. I really want to tell you that I am not as happy as my performance is showing recently. I am sort of hiding myself and controlling my emotion hardly as well. I am becoming indifferent towards my relationship with Fai and I don’t know what I should do to help. I feel really bad at night. Our relationship seems good, but I don’t think it is.