推銷一部家用電器

有了這款改良型號，你的器皿
不必換成單一的統號成品，
它支持個性化風格、培育您的個人品味，
適於各種尺寸、形狀和材料，
從木頭到玻璃、從陶瓷到銀器；
啊，當然，我預料，夫人，您不會
用這部機器清洗珍珠和鑽石，
因爲它們太高貴
（哈，這是個玩笑）。

您將沒見器皿分別放進這個主清洗槽，
將邊緣（其實也就是一部分而已）卡在柵格之間。
您無需手工調整，因爲水流的漩渦衝力
會將它們自動壓緊，不會有任何鬆動。
就連那些凹進的容器，什麽杯盞瓶罐，
無論寬窄深淺，都不會有什麽問題；
您只需要將它們底朝上
放在預先設計好的細長支柱上。
這些柱子由膨脹塑料製成，
因此它們既不易碎又不會因爲踫撞
而導致器皿壁或器皿口受到任何損傷；
也許，您會覺得支柱和開口並不吻合，
但是（啊，這才是我們革命性的技術改進！）
器皿搖晃所導致的撞擊力會刺激柱體
從而使得支柱膨脹並且撐緊器皿的開口，
而一旦壓力消失，柱體便很快收縮，
於是清洗液便會密封在器皿内一段時間
然後再換成新鮮液體。
整個清洗過程中不會有任何容器從支柱上滑落，
這是我們的專利。
還有一點任何同類產品無法代替：
支柱的膨脹特性會防止器皿彼此摩擦，
因爲無論經過多少次洗滌沖刷，
器具表面的光澤好無損傷，
無論何時端上臺面，總是光潔嶄新。
當然，像所有同類產品一樣，
這個型號不適於太油膩或者
因爲放置太久而污垢幹結的器皿；
其實，當然，這也算不得什麽問題，
如果你有足夠的時間和耐心，
您盡可以再洗一遍（不過，我有理由相信，
像那樣的破爛，您肯定寧可
把它當作垃圾處理而不會爲此費心），
但是我們願意建議您將它們浸泡在水槽，
同時您可以去做其它雜務，
剩下的只是回來重復上面的步驟。
有了這款型號，您的烹飪藝術不包括飯後的操勞，
您全家共享餐後的溫馨閒暇，您的美味和甜品
令您丈夫心滿意足，您可以想象入夜後
那注滿愛意的時光。你們的生活會美滿幸福，
我們已經獲得這項專利。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　2004年3月28日


　　　A Dishwasher Ad

For this advanced model, you
do not have to use uniform items;
it fosters your personalized taste and individualized styles,
and allows for different sizes, shapes and materials;
you can wash wood, copper, china or silver,
and, of course, I guess, my dear Madam, you are not likely
to use this apparatus to wash pearl or diamond, for they are
aristocratically rare and dear
(ah, this is a joke).

Put your utensils separately on the compartment,
making sure that the rim, that is part of it,
is held between the grids.
You do not even have to manually
fix them tight in position, for when the water
rushes in, it will become snug and secure automatically
in the whirlpool.
There is no trouble even for those hollow receptacles,
be it deep or shallow, broad or narrow;
simply put them upside down
on the pre-installed stalks that can enter any kind of openings.
These stalks are made of expansile plastic so that they are not brittle
and will not cause any breaches in any bumps;
at first, they may not fit the items like a glove,
but (ah, this is a revolutionary technical innovation),
the wobbling and impact from the loosely held utensils will bring forth
the inflation of the stalks so that the openings will be filled tight,
and once the pressure is relieved, the stalks will instantly contract,
letting out the washing liquid after holding it inside for a necessary period of time.
No utensils will escape during the operational process,
and this is our patent.
Still one more thing that distinguishes our product from all the others:
the expansile nature of the stalks will also prevent the rubbing between the items,
therefore, the washes will not erode the glaze
and you can always serve your dishes as if they are brand new.

There is only one thing to keep in mind,
just like every product of this kind,
that this model does not suit the items that are too greasy
or have been left in the open air far too long with smirches dried on the surface.
And this is actually no problem at all, if you have time and patience
to wash them once more (although I have reasons to believe,
my dear Madam, you might as well
dispose of the trash instead of wasting your time).
But our suggestion will be that you rinse them beneath the suds in the sink
while you go about other chores before getting around to the above steps.
With this model, your culinary art does not entail soul-destroying after-meal labor,
and you will enjoy your postprandial cozy family leisure upon the dessert
and you can anticipate the late-night loving hours with your husband
who is satiated with your delicacies.
We guarantee you an easily happy life,
and we have obtained the patented for this.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　March 28, 2004