2003-08-18 04:12:03Fishy
Aug 17. Sunday. 3pm
Gees. We had a big talk again yesterday. I’m sorry I couldn’t help crying, as always. I hope you wouldn’t think it was an act of being weak or uncommunicative.
I guess there is something waiting for us to solve.
How did we start the conversation? You said you were not sure if you want a relationship. I kind of knew you felt something even before we met yesterday. I was wondering if it was different if you said “I don’t want a relationship” or “I don’t want this kind of relationship with you”. Yes literally they are different. Are they really the same to you?
I was going to ask you “Do you love me?” before you went into your bedroom, but it got stuck. You said it was already different after I came back from China. Then, what has changed for you?
You said you didn’t feel the way you would feel in a relationship, like you would get excited when seeing your girlfriend. I think it is a problem. I can’t bear to get together with you when you’re not so glad to see me. I don’t want the dates to be “just for me” and it’s like something you think you SHOULD do, not something you WANT to do.
It hurt me when it turned out that you were not so happy with me. I might be selfish in a way. I really want to be with the person I love. But like I said, my bottom line is that I don’t want you to feel any uncomfortable.
I doubt if the way you feel has anything to do with your magic changing. Or it’s just the problem between you and me? Am I the right person for you?
I do believe there is a right person for me in this world, maybe more than one.
I’m already staying back a bit, which is not good. I became careful and sensitive, coz I don’t want you to feel any worse with me.
You said it didn’t necessarily related to “breaking up or not breaking up”. I doubt if we can have nice date again before we settle the problems.
I don’t mind giving you space, coz that’s what you want and it makes you feel good. I think it’s already more than “personal space.” Maybe it was the “root”, I don’t know.
I can’t stand any doubt from you or me, about our relationship. Let’s NOT get together until you feel like seeing me or the problems are solved.
I guess there is something waiting for us to solve.
How did we start the conversation? You said you were not sure if you want a relationship. I kind of knew you felt something even before we met yesterday. I was wondering if it was different if you said “I don’t want a relationship” or “I don’t want this kind of relationship with you”. Yes literally they are different. Are they really the same to you?
I was going to ask you “Do you love me?” before you went into your bedroom, but it got stuck. You said it was already different after I came back from China. Then, what has changed for you?
You said you didn’t feel the way you would feel in a relationship, like you would get excited when seeing your girlfriend. I think it is a problem. I can’t bear to get together with you when you’re not so glad to see me. I don’t want the dates to be “just for me” and it’s like something you think you SHOULD do, not something you WANT to do.
It hurt me when it turned out that you were not so happy with me. I might be selfish in a way. I really want to be with the person I love. But like I said, my bottom line is that I don’t want you to feel any uncomfortable.
I doubt if the way you feel has anything to do with your magic changing. Or it’s just the problem between you and me? Am I the right person for you?
I do believe there is a right person for me in this world, maybe more than one.
I’m already staying back a bit, which is not good. I became careful and sensitive, coz I don’t want you to feel any worse with me.
You said it didn’t necessarily related to “breaking up or not breaking up”. I doubt if we can have nice date again before we settle the problems.
I don’t mind giving you space, coz that’s what you want and it makes you feel good. I think it’s already more than “personal space.” Maybe it was the “root”, I don’t know.
I can’t stand any doubt from you or me, about our relationship. Let’s NOT get together until you feel like seeing me or the problems are solved.