I’m going home loo. Happy time flies faster.
It seems to me we’ve been dating more than one month.
I was lying in your bed, thinking I was leaving you for home. You were falling asleep and you asked me if I felt insecure. I shook my head and said no. It made me want to cry. Not that I felt insecure. It was the opposite—I felt so secure that I didn’t want to leave you.
You were playing guitar while I was taking the video. I was looking at you in the camera. I was thinking I would play the video when I was at home in China, when you were not in front of the camera, smiling at me. It was like a scene in a movie (I guess I have some cells for making movies=) You’ll not be standing in front of the camera when I can only see you in the camera, missing you a lot.
Sometimes I think I’m just making it more beautifully sad than it really is. It won’t be long before I come back from home. Well, I can’t help it. I’m just---me.
We were sitting on the couch and you were playing the guitar. I remembered our first date. We kind of “got stuck” in playing the guitar. We didn’t really talk about other things (or I just couldn’t remember. I was too nervous on the first date. :P) It was kind of strangely sweet of you to ask for a hug or say you just initiated the hug :D. I never had a guy initiate a hug in the way as you did. Funny. We had many times of sex during this month, which made me feel a little sore down there. :D Now it’s like we’re getting into a “normal dating” status, where it feels different from the time when we could just talk on phone, imagining what was gonna happen between us. I don’t wanna go back to the time when we could just talk on phone. I don’t need much excitement like people change their partners so that they could have some “fresh” feelings. I hope I’m not that kind of people. I treasure every moment we’ve spent together, no matter when we were on phone or whatever. Sometimes I might be like an old person, recalling the time we spent together. :P
Thinking that I have three four more nights here before I go home, thinking we’ll still be able to meet a couple of times, I kind of feel like NOT seeing you much before I go. I know, it’s gonna make it harder for me to let go of your hands if I see you right before I leave. It makes my nose feel sour just to think about it.

“I like you. I love you, I think.” You said to me.
You wouldn’t know how long these words would stick in my head. I wanted to say the same words to you but I didn’t. I thought it was pretty obvious that I didn’t need to say it, which is a problem that many Chinese lovers would have. Nope. I think I just got stuck.
It doesn’t really matter what is the difference between “I like you” and “I love you”. How we feel matters, not the words we use to express the feeling. Well, of course it’s important to know how each other feels. You asked me how to make me feel better when we were in bed (wink wink=) It’s hard for me to tell. I’m not very shy. I’m just not used to it. :P To be honest, I don’t think it’s important for me to have the climax. I understand that you want me to feel good as well. What I care about is that I’m having sex with YOU, not anyone else. I felt good anyways. :D Climax would not make a big difference to me, I think. When it comes, it comes. =)

You said the difference between a girl and a woman is that a woman doesn’t play “hard to get”. Well, I think no matter I’m a girl or a woman, if I really fall for a person, I won’t play “hard to get” with him. There is a Chinese term for “hard to get”, which is a good term and traditionally people appreciate girls with this kind of character.

One month. No need to celebrate, since the fact that I’m with you, is the best celebration.